Sunday, December 20, 2009

Ten Reasons Why Your Dog Needs A Christmas Gift

#10. He’s seen you naked, but still respects you.
Honestly, how many people can you say that about? Seriously. Your dog sees you at your worst, pre-shower, pre-makeup, pre-everything that makes you look presentable, and still looks at you like a deity. Or at least, keeps the chuckles to a minimum.

#9. He’s content with being your fallback.
Who is always there for you when you’re date doesn’t show? Who is waiting for you happily after he’s been ignored because of your busy social life? Who else would be thrilled to have you show up even though you’ve done everything in your power to find something else to do? Even when you come home after a horrible break-up, vowing to never love again, your dog is happy to teach you to do just that.

#8. He keeps you from getting a fat butt.
That’s right. If you didn’t have to spend all that time taking your dog for walks, you’d likely be sitting around on your lazy bum. Sure, it seems like a drag when it’s ten degrees outside and your pooch is scratching at the front door, but your 24-hour personal trainer knows what’s best for you. Get moving!

#7. He helps you to think about someone besides yourself.
Ever spent much time with someone who doesn’t like dogs? What do they all have in common? Complete self-absorption. I don’t like dogs because they’re messy. They smell. They take work. They always want attention. I’m too busy. Thanks to your four-legged friend, you’re not like those people. Your dog is a living, breathing reminder that the world is more than just you.

#6. He’s impossibly cute.
Sure, you sometimes take it for granted. Memories of his puppyhood may seem thousands of miles away, and you often find yourself too busy to notice. But then you happen to look down from your whatever “important” thing you’re doing and see those adorable eyes staring up at you, and you just can’t deny it. Your dog has more cute than a thousand Bambi movies.

#5. He takes you places.
How often have you been introduced to a new experience just because of your dog? I’ve met lots of new friends, seen tons of new places and found scads of new activities merely because of my relationship with my dog. There’s nothing like starting a conversation with a complete stranger in a park because your dog is vigorously sniffing said stranger’s privates, is there? (It’s true. How many romantic comedies use that exact same scenario?)

#4. He’s your excuse.
Just as he gives you a reason to get out and see the world, he also can be your excuse to stay in. “I have to rearrange my sock drawer” just doesn’t cut the mustard anymore. If you claim to have an obsessive-compulsive dog at home who will eat through your refrigerator door if you don’t feed him by precisely 7pm, that is strangely more plausible.

#3. He reminds you that there is still good in the world.
It’s easy to forget. People cut you off in traffic. Some creepy guy stares at you non-stop in the subway. Your boss is a jerk. Your cab driver overcharges you. It’s enough to want you to shut the world out and hide on your couch all day. But when you get there, you’re greeted by someone who thinks the world of you, and who only wants to make you happy (oh, and maybe a nibble of whatever it is you’re eating).

#2. He always gets the shaft.
Sure you may have nabbed the milk-bone with the bow on it at the supermarket checkout last year, but is that all that your constant companion is worth? You’ve spent more on a random holiday gift pool at the office than on gifts for your dog, haven’t you? What about a warm dog bed to get him up off the floor? Maybe a new dog collar and leash that doesn’t look like every other one? Some cute dog clothes that (almost) match your dog's level of cuteness? How about a new dog toy that will remind him (and you) what it’s like to be a kid again? (OK, shameless plugs are now over).

#1. Life is too short. Especially in dog years.
Though he’s in it for the long haul, it always seems too short. If you’ve ever lost a beloved dog to old age, you know that no matter how long you’ve had with him, it seems like you could have done more. More walks. More playing. More doting. When it’s all over, do you think you’ll wish you’d spent more time working and worrying? Not likely.

You know what you need to do? Go home and spend time with your best friend. Thank him for everything. He may not understand every word, but he understands your heart.

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